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America’s Next Top Mommy
Category: The Mommy |

I just know that, any day now, Clinton and Stacey are going to pop out from behind a plant or something and bombard me with the news that I’ve been nominated for “What Not to Wear”, cause dayum, I’ve been looking scruffy.  Whereas I used to look cute and I could make even jeans look work-appropriate, I now wear post-maternity clothes (or 4th trimester, as I’ve heard them called) that usually have some badge of spit-up on them.  This morning, I grabbed a sweater coat out of the dryer because all I had clean was a t-shirt and jeans, and it wasn’t until I was driving to mom’s to drop Tony off that I realized it was still wet.  And not just a little wet, but wet enough to dampen the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing underneath it. 

Even now, I’m alternating between visiting the bathroom to utilize a hand-dryer and huddling around my desk heater to dry the damn thing.

I was telling Stephanie that, although I was prepared to alter my morning routine, I did not realize fully that every spare minute would be sucked dry, mostly with baby preparations.  I’m lucky if I have enough time to shower, dry my hair, and get clothes on; make-up and accessories feel luxurious.  And, like I said, I will most likely be wearing some form of baby bodily fluid no matter what.

Having said all of that, I will admit that a good 10-15 minutes every morning is spent talking to my child and having him coo back to me.  Because that makes it all worth it, truly.

Even the spit-up.

(Clinton and Stacey, I’m still willing to blow $5k on clothes.)

9:08 am

3 Responses to “America’s Next Top Mommy”

  1. Michelle Says:

    Well, this DOES get easier as they get older… and harder. And to cooing time - savor that!

  2. Christina Says:

    I dont know how you do it. I have honestly thought of you everyday this week while I mope around in a zobie like state (sleepdamnbabywtf?!) thinking you are my hero. Plus, your not cool if you dont have spit on your left shoulder, period! Im sure skinny ass Stacy is jelous with her baron old womb.

  3. Christina Says:

    Damn, I wish I could spell!

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