How horrible am I? The day we’re supposed to go to the specialist and find out about Tony’s lucky foot, I fall off the face of the earth? Pretty horrible.
Because Bryan actually researched it, I’ll point you to his site for a great description of what the (fabulous) specialist had to tell us about Tony. Long story short, we’ve got time on our side. And the sweet little boy slept through the whole thing.
We got home from the doctor’s and Bryan went to work in the nursery, hanging shades. As much as new parents labor over their nurseries, I wonder how much time the child actually spends in there. For instance, Tony has not once slept in his crib yet. He’s been hanging out in the living room with the rest of us, dozing in a Pack ‘n Play.
Bryan laid down to take a nap and I did the same with Tony on my chest, and when I woke up, I felt like I was on the brink of death. I had chills that were so violent that I’ve pulled muscles, and a fever of 101.7. Bryan made an emergency call to the women’s clinic and they deduced I had an infected milk duct.
Why do we breastfeed? And yes, Le Leche members, I know that it’s heathier for the babies. I know that we pass things on to them through our breast milk that they can’t get in formula. But I was a formula baby, and perhaps I’m biased, but I think I turned out okay. And Lord knows my mother never had a night like I did last night, where my fever finally broke at 103 and I was praying for death.
12 hours and several antibiotics later, I’m down to a reasonable temperature (still a low-grade fever) and the one boob is feeling slightly better.
So here’s my rant for the day:
Breastfeeding did not (does not) come naturally to me. I know that a lot of women just attach the baby and BOOM! everything is all wonderful and happy. Leprechauns dance, unicorns saunter by, and all is right with the world. I have NOT had such a great experience. And I promised myself that I would committ to at least six months, but last night I started waivering. A week’s good, right? From him nursing before the milk came in (pain), to him only taking one boob (pain in the one boob), and now an infected duct in the one boob (PAIN I CANNOT ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE WITHOUT FOUR LETTER WORDS), I’m wondering why anyone does this.
And, God love him, Bryan decided to dispell his breastfeeding wisdom upon me last night. I considered shoving a piece of ginger up his urethra while he slept so he could, perhaps, understand the pain to which I’m referring, but instead I just cried.
It will get better, I know. But it still sucks. (Pardon the pun.)
Breastfeeding sucks for the first several weeks and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. I stupidly gave myself mastitis (I should have known that the more you pump, the more you produce and that sports bras are a terrible idea) three times before I figured out what my problem was. I feel your pain. Mastitis is horrendous.
But if you can suffer through it does get better. One day it’s suddenly easy and it doesn’t hurt and you’ll be lucky enough to not have to pack up formula and bottles every time you leave the house.
Feel better.
i hear you! It is so hard. I had a clogged duct (though not infected) last weekend… last night Nahtan cried for hours and hours becuase i ate a GD artichoke, if this is best than why am I constantly making my baby sick by choosing healthy foods? I was on the fence too. I will stick with it but it is SO much harder than people let on.
Im so sorry you were in so much pain.
M Fer where did my comment go? UGH!
Store up enough milk in the freezer. When my fever is gone, I will spend the night there on the couch and take care of Tony while you sleep all night. It is important you get Delle’s pump operational as soon as possible…. Hang in there, DDD! If it was easy, anyone could do it.
@ Jackie — I hope this is the only time I ever get it. But oddly enough, your comment against pumping leaves me stumped. Our “Guide to Breastfeeding” actually encourages pumping every two hours to CURE mastitis. Maybe it’s a cruel joke.
@ Mom — you worry about getting you better. I’m actually doing much better today, and tonight we’re playing with the pump when The Boy goes to bed.
@ Christina — no idea why, but the HerHangOut gals are always sent to spam. I go into my spam filter daily and fish ‘em out, but Akismet is not learning how to filter you guys.
Breast feeding is…well a convient healthy pain in the ass! I did halvies with both my boys and will probably do the same with the next. I gave them bottles of formula and did the breast thing. I was formula feed and I lived and think I am smart enough, healthy enough (and dog gone it people like me
) Seriously, I hope it gets better but remember any amount (of time, milk, months) is better than none. Best of luck!!
Just to throw in another point of view, my milk dried up when my daughter was 6 days old, therefore there was no other way to feed her other than formula. It was traumatic to her at first switching from breast to formula because she had severe reflux with the formula which she did not have with the breast. My son came along and because of the problems Destiny had with the switch, I opted to have him start on formula because I feared my milk would dry again and I would repeat the whole process with him. No both of my children are extremely healthy and never have been really “sick” children.
So no matter your decision, you will still be a terrific mom!