“Hey now.
I see you’ve got your bags all packed
and your tickets in your hand.
Hey now,
look who kept her hope in tact,
waiting for her break
to get to the promise land..”
- “Long, Long Road”, Jason Robert Brown

It’s hard to be happy today.  It’s hard to be excited.  It’s hard to be stressed, even.  All I feel is sad.

I was a temp for almost three years.  I stayed with groups a couple of months at most, and made a life that I could keep in a box.  I used to joke that I was like part of the BabySitters Club, with a kit I took with me on temporary assignments, my job merely to clean and entertain and then disappear as if I were nevere there.  I made a point of leaving and cutting off all contact.

Because, hell, that’s how I lived my life.  On the clock and off.

But..

These people took a chance on me when my resume said I was merely a waitress with a high school diploma.  These people took me in, gave me chances, gave me opportunities.  I was never coddled, never pampered, but I was well-loved.  People here always made an effort to know that. 

I had a whiteboard installed directly in front of my desk that was specifically to keep track of vacation and travel.  Every morning, one of the guys came over and drew a portrait of me.  I bought him a large collection of whiteboard markers so he could get creative, and every morning, he depicted my hair, my shirt, and my attitude.

Another guy had a long-running joke with me about being watched.  I had always joked that Big Brother was on the lookout around here, and we played elaborate games of hide and seek.  When I’d walk past his cube, as I did several times a day, it would be a game of Where’s Waldo, with him crunched in some corner, only his eyes visible.  One day, I came in to find he had covered my entire cube with something, like, 20 printouts of eyes.

One pair of those eyes are now my constant eyes on the white board.

These are the people who count down my wedding date, who come to my shows, who always respond to mass emails I send out.  These are the people who make my day-to-do lives a little less “Office Space” and a little more “The Office”.  I am incredibly sad to leave them.  There is the common knowledge that it is a huge step up for me, but it doesn’t dull the ache.

In the meantime, I am being robbed of a computer, a phone, and even a chair.  So I may be short-timing it today.