So, I’m looking for the right way to approach this.
The wrong way is the one that always jumps to mind first. The wrong way would be to point to people I know who fit the soon-to-be-mentioned stereotype and say, “See?! See what I mean?!” But that is the WRONG way. And it does no one any good. It only causes harm and hurt.
What I’m referring to is a topic broached on a site called Mom is Teaching. Whether or not you believe in homeschooling or public school systems, this quote in particular bothered me beyond words:
It reminds me of a post that Lee from Absolutelee wrote a while back. How To Turn Your Daughter Into A Whore In Two Easy Steps. The first step is “Enroll your daughter in public school.”
There was an article published by the Associated Press this weekend that disclosed an alarming fact about sexual misconduct in our public school system. I cannot agree more that things like should not be swept under the rug or explained away. Teachers caught doing inappopriate behaviors should be prosecuted. Done.
I also feel the same way about priests and parents. There is no excuse for any adult, regardless of occupation or relation to the victim, to do these things.
(I also feel the need to point out that private/homeschool teachers are not required to have any state-mandated licensing, therefore making it incredibly difficult to track and document any sexual misconduct there. But make no mistake, it happens there, too.)
But to blame the public school system for the oversexualization of young girls (and boys, for that matter) is like blaming video games for violence. I can speak because I am a product of a public school. Did things happen to people I knew? Sure. Of course they did. Were they handled appropriately? It depended on the parents of the child.
And that, my friends, is my main beef with 75% of the arguments for homeschooling. It sounds like insecurity about your personal parenting choices and capability. It reeks of “I don’t trust my own child (and therefore, how I raised them) to make the right choices or learn from their mistakes.” To me, it just sounds like a copout.
You’ll note that I said 75%. I firmly believe there is homeschooling done right out there. We’ve been given some very good information lately by people who have found a great balance between public and homeschooling, which is how I believe it should be done. That is my opinion on the matter; you’re entitled to your own as well.
Keeping your child in a bubble is such an incredible disservice to both you and your child. Fear can be a debilitating thing, agreed. I was SO glad to hear I was having a boy because it meant I would never have to purchase pj pants with “JUICY” written across the ass for my eleven year old daughter. (I never would, trust me.) But would I “hide [my] light under a bushel” by keeping my child hidden? I don’t think that’s the right answer.
It just takes a village. I chose my village carefully, making sure there was diversity and wisdom among it. It’s all about choosing what is correct for you and your child.. and then teaching your child tolerance and respect for others who might not make the same decision.
I should point out that Lee who wrote it is a teacher himself. He sees the things that parents don’t, which is what is going on 8 hours of the day with your child.
It’s not about putting them in a bubble. In fact, in my opinion puvlic schools are more the bubble without a village. However, it is about allowing them to be kids while they are kids. 9 year old who dance like strippers are not being allowed to be 9 year olds. Perhaps I’m over protective and putting my kids in a bubble because I don’t want them seeing that or acting that way, but it sure beats having to explain why the other little kids have juicy across their butts before my kids are really old enough to understand what that means.
And trust me, peer pressure can crack even the best raised child.
FYI Kim Kardashian…the “star” of the show mentioned in Summer’s post…went to a private all girls Catholic High School. Her sister, the nine year old on the pole, probably goes to the same school…maybe not…
http://www.mhs-la.org/
I blame the nuns…
The reality of organized classroom instruction (public or private) is the vast (ie: unhealthy) amount of time that children are socialized solely with peers each and every day, and the vast amount of time that is lacking when it comes to one-on-one time with adults.
It’s out of balance, and it doesn’t just affect them morally, but academically.
I speak from experience, as a child that attended public school, and a mother whose children have experienced private preschool, public school and home education.
It also sounds as though you might have an assumption that the vast majority of homeschoolers are conservative Christians. I think that the recent trends in home education would really surprise you.
Christine, admittedly, I DO see homeschooling as primarily faith-based and conservatively-Christian.. because I live in Alabama, and that’s typically what it is here. In fact, I’d be surprised if you could join a homeschool umbrella locally without any religious affiliation. (I’ve been trying to find that out myself lately, for my own benefit.)
Having said that, I’m afraid we’re just going to have to agree to disagree that socialization among peers is an unhealthy thing. You used the term “vast”, but I can say that most curriculums don’t allow for more than a lunch hour and perhaps an elective or two a day that would qualify as “socialization”. And I’d argue that those electives that focus on socialization promote leadership and teamwork. But again.. just my opinion.
I was looking for craft ideas and found myself on a homeschooling website….it said that we should teach creationsim and I left promptly. I’m not up for Jesus crafts, unless Jose and Julio are down too. (haha)
Seriously, is homeschooling apropriate? Absolutely not. But I would be hesitant to sing the praises of a public school education. I am a big advocate of charter schools. They provide competition (as well as academic results) and institute a love of learning while requiring public schools to raise the standards.
Here’s the deal. I feel that homeschooling is only appropriate for kids with severe behavioral/emotional issues. Not because those kids don’t need to socialize, but because it becomes a liability to have them in a class of 20 kids where they can create chaos. But even then, I would prefer them still go to school with a 1 on 1.
I think the thing that’s missing in this debate is choice. You can’t categorically say that homeschooling is bad and public school good. Just as you can’t say public school is bad and homeschooling is good. (Well, maybe you can. But anyway…:) ) The thing is this. Parents need to be able to raise their children the way they want. For government to say they know more about how to raise my children than I do is ludicrous. For some individual to say this is hubris. Having said that…public school certainly has a place in our society. A lot of parents are incapable of educating their kids because they are ignorant themselves. But homeschooling has a place, also, and I might add that place is not just for ultra-christians (of which I’m not one). I can look at kids in the hallways of a public school and say this is not for my children. I have that right, even that obligation as a parent. Other parents, by contrast, might not be so put off by the easy access to drugs and rampant, demeaning sexuality of your normal American high school. That’s okay, too. That’s their decision. Those are their children; they can raise them the way they want. This is just not what I particularly want my children to experience at a young age.
When I say “vast,” I mean “vast,” and not speaking from opinion but from what I have seen in our local schools and what I hear over and over again from teachers. There is a lot of downtime for students in the classroom, on the playground and in the lunchroom. Teachers are exhausted and overwhelmed.
When they are doing things as a class and interacting with their teacher, they are only working with their immediate peers. Many kids don’t know how to interact and work well naturally with others outside their peer group.
Granted, I don’t think homeschool is the solution for everyone, and the public school system is vital. Yet, the public school system is failing because it is not a priority. I think every single child deserves what I give my children. The only way that can happen is by putting our money into the classrooms. We need more teachers with fewer students. We need to see more flexibility allowed so that students can receive a very well-rounded educational experience with varying ages of students and adults, who posses varying gifts and abilities. Teachers need freedom and more control over what they teach and how they teach it. That’s the goal, but it simply can’t be accomplished.
Is homeschooling appropriate? Um, sure it is, when a parent is dedicated to the task. The way we do public school now is not appropriate. Children deserve more. They deserve better.