• Old Navy makes “real waist” maternity pants.  Which are awesome in looks, but involve a drawstring waistband, a zipper, a clasp, and two tiny buttons to undo.  Try fumbling through that when you have a fetus riverdancing on your bladder.
• Couples who have the same haircut.  Do you think they sit around and play with eachother’s hair?
• I take my wedding ring off when I put lotion on.  I totally forgot it today, so I feel WAY naked.
• Men who hit on pregnant women.  JESUSGOD, is there no end to your madness?!
• People who say “Better enjoy it now.  Remember, you can’t ever put the baby back in.”  Is that a warning or a challenge?
• People who go on tv without adjusting their hair.  Are mirrors forbidden in local news studios?
• “pacifically”  Not a word, bro.
• Baby registries
• Getting an email every damn day about some food being recalled.  What is UP with that?
• People who begin a story with a definite purpose (”Let me tell you about this wiring issue in my car”) and then veer off for twenty minutes (”and then I found a petting zoo”).
• Starbucks raising their prices.  REALLY?!

I think I need a nap.