I have no grace anymore, so I usually heave my gargantuan, lardacious self onto the bed, where.. unfortunately.. my fingernails met with a piece of Bryan’s anatomy.

Me:  OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, I am so sorry.  I am SO, so sorry.

Bryan: It’s okay.. why are you freaking out?

Me: Because it must’ve sucked to have my fingernails dig into your pee-pee there.

Bryan: Sarah, that was my belly button.

Me: Oh, well, I moved so fast that..

Bryan: Nice to know that you can’t tell the difference between my penis and my belly button.. which IS, by the way, AN INNIE.