A List of Bitchiness or Things I Don’t Have Time For, by Sarah Brown:

• People who know nothing about what they’re babbling, so they keep babbling in the attempt to convince me that they’re as knowledgable as they hope they sound.  I HATE this.  Why is it so hard to say, “You know, I don’t know much about that, but I’m willing to learn”?  Why you gotta waste my time proving that you’re merely a parrot?  And not even a good one?  For instance, if you wanna pronounce your expertise in, say, baking a cake, don’t merely cut and paste the Wiki How-To on baking a cake.  All that proves is that you’re as smart as your local 13 year old with an internet connection.
• People who don’t take responsibility when they get caught.  Paris, you were driving recklessly.  On a suspended license.  You SHOULD, rightfully, be punished.  Sadly, I see this most often in women.  “I’m misunderstood” or “I was treated unfairly” or some other crap.  Own up to your life.  Stand behind your actions.  And JesusGod, just say, “Yeah, I was wrong.  I’m sorry.”
• People who wanna lay hands on my damn belly.  Here’s the thing, and honestly, it’s a thing that even I didn’t know: the belly is not immediately touchable.  It gets harder as the uterus hardens.  So until it feels more like a baby shield and less like Uncle Wayne’s gut, I don’t want you touching it.  Back off, Grandma.
• People who may as well have had their cell phones surgically attached to their heads.  I’ll admit that I see the point in having a cell phone.  I don’t use mine very often, but hey, I can understand wanting one in an emergency.  But when you sit down to dinner with other people and remain on some cell phone conversation, I reserve the right to 1) order for you, 2) throw dinner rolls at you, or 3) eat whatever comes to your placesetting.
• People who don’t do their job.  This wasn’t originally going to make the list, but I just got a phone call from a new employee in my old organization who has been there a week and has no phone, computer, or accesses.  He called because THEY GAVE HIM MY NAME.  They are better staffed NOW than they were when I was there, so I gave him three different names to call.  Still, no one should’ve handed my name out.

What’s been getting on your nerves lately?