100 Things About Me

  1. I am not a real redhead.
  2. I am a natural blonde.
  3. If you make some blonde joke in my company, I will laugh.. because I am not a blonde, I’m a redhead.
  4. I wish on stars.
  5. Sometimes, it works.
  6. The place that pays my bills is an industry I don’t necessarily believe in.
  7. I wonder if I’ve sold out because of this.
  8. When I was five, I wanted to grow up and be a cartoon character. (Riff Raff’s girlfriend, Cleo, from the Heathcliff cartoons, if you must know.)
  9. When I was 16, I wanted to grow up and be the first female president of the United States.
  10. When I was 21, I wanted to have my own syndicated morning radio show.
  11. (I still do.)
  12. I don’t like my food to touch.  Unless it’s breakfast.  A good southern breakfast is meant to be combined.
  13. I don’t like to eat the last of anything.  I’m the biatch who puts a swallow of OJ back in the fridge and who leaves one Oreo left in the package.  This makes me feel skinnier, to never “finish anything off”.
  14. There is not a food I don’t like.
  15. (Except carrots.  I HATE carrots.)
  16. I used to think I was bad with money, but as I’ve gotten older, I realized I was smarter than I gave myself credit for.
  17. I hate puns.
  18. I had most of the original season of SNL memorized by the time I was 10.
  19. Gilda Radner has been, and always will be, my idol.
  20. I don’t think Will Ferrell is funny.
  21. I watch The Princess Bride for the swordfighting.
  22. And Mandy Patinkin.
  23. I feel most at peace when I’m outside, no matter the weather.
  24. I’d rather have a small piece of really good chocolate than a huge bowl of mediocre ice cream.
  25. If I go to the movie theatre, I have to have a cherry coke.
  26. I don’t believe in dry cleaning.  I swear by Dryel.
  27. My husband and I firmly believe in living within our means.
  28. Which, sometimes, we actually do.
  29. I sang backup for Sesame Street’s Bob McGrath.
  30. He swears like a sailor, in case you were wondering.
  31. Don’t even get me started on his rendition of “Rubber Ducky”.
  32. I hate smiling in pictures with my mouth open.
  33. I am italian.  This affects me in many ways I’m proud of, but also some that plague me.
  34. I am never happy with my hair.  I constantly change it.
  35. I drink a LOT of water.
  36. I live in a historic neighborhood that was built for local mill workers at the turn of the (last) century.  I lurve it.
  37. I make up my own words.
  38. All of our pets (4: 2 dogs, 2 cats) are rescued.
  39. One cat and one dog (both female, oddly enough) are deaf.
  40. A suitor once wrote a song for me titled “Queen of the Universe”.  I still have it, somewhere.
  41. I commute a long way to work.  I wish I didn’t have to.
  42. I was anti-snuggling before I met my husband.
  43. I HATE cookie cakes.
  44. I buy most of my clothes on eBay.
  45. My favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas, because they have the most festive food.
  46. Puppets are the easiest way to amuse me.
  47. Or just an inanimate object that you lend a voice to.
  48. The Muppets owned me.
  49. I love pink.
  50. But not the Victoria’s Secret brand of teen-wear.
  51. My professional life revolves around acronymns.
  52. This sucks when you’re a fan of actual words and language.
  53. Dr. Seuss shaped me into the person I am today.
  54. My two favorites are The Sneetches and The Lorax.
  55. I am horrible at math.
  56. I can smell testosterone.
  57. That is not always a good thing.  Nor is it always a bad thing.
  58. I can’t swallow pills.  I don’t care how small they are or what tricks you provide me with, I just can’t.
  59. Of all scents ever, I prefer to smell like honey.
  60. I cannot burp.  It’s something I’m physically incapable of. (edit: Until I got pregnant.)
  61. People with obnoxious laughs bother me.  It’s not the actual laugh that I find obnoxious, but the fact that they’re laughing at something that is really stupid.
  62. Jack Handy is a freakin’ genius.
  63. Growing up, “shut up” and “liar” were bad words in our house.  I still have trouble using either phrase.
  64. I am a devil’s advocate by nature.
  65. I have gotten most places in life by utilizing my feminine wiles.
  66. I’ve been successful once I got there by utilizing my brain.
  67. I firmly believe in karma.  Mostly because I’ve watched it work.
  68. I’m a big “pay it forward” person.
  69. I am HORRIBLE at gift giving.
  70. I have to have 8-9 hours of sleep daily to be a useful individual.  Anything less than 6 hours will cause me to crash.  HARD.
  71. My hands are allergic to water.
  72. Seriously.
  73. I will rub my feet together to self-soothe and fall asleep.  This drives my husband nuts.
  74. I always tend to side with the villains in stories.
  75. They’re far more interesting.
  76. Before I got pregnant, I spent about five months of the year involved onstage.  The other seven months were backstage.
  77. A cup of earl grey with local honey and milk can cure any ailment.
  78. My grandmother used to take me for picnics in a local cemetary, to teach me that we never were to fear death.
  79. I still visit cemetaries today for peace and solace.
  80. I don’t fear death.
  81. I believe that you shouldn’t worry about the size of your clothes, but instead focus on the quality and cut of them.
  82. I am not a beer drinker.
  83. I prefer wine.  I lurve wine, actually.
  84. I know a lot of American Sign Language.
  85. Unfortunately, it’s all completely inappropriate.
  86. Come to think of it, I know a lot of bad words in several languages.
  87. I’m very cultured.
  88. I have two tattoos.  They both feature butterflies.
  89. I want another one someday.
  90. I can tell if a person is unstable by their eyes.
  91. I love sweaters.  They are my favorite piece of clothing.
  92. My husband bought me porn for my birthday.  Because that’s what I asked for.
  93. I prefer cream sauce over red sauce.
  94. I would eat fruit instead of chocolate anyday.
  95. Unfortunately, none of our vending machines around here stock fruit.
  96. I am OCD about a lot of things.
  97. Cleaning is a big one.  My house is cleaned twice a week.
  98. Spelling is another one.
  99. Lists are a particular OCD thing for me.  They have to end on an odd number to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye.